Oh man.. can't i have both?
Yesterday was one of those days. i felt super EMO, and by that i meant i felt so down. Though i am not the crappy-person-when-in-a-bad-mood type. Whenever i am not feeling good about myself, i would usually just be all quiet and keeping all to myself.
i prefer not to be an attention seeking primadonnas, who would like to show other people how bad their mood are. i think those kind of showoff people are just fucking stoopid.
Though yesterday was not as bad as my Monday last week. Last week was perhaps the lowest feeling that i've had since.. well since ever. It was a day after my birthday. As usual my birthday was lonely and boring.
All that i wanted for my birthday this year was just a birthday acknowledgment from her. My unrequited love. But no. Nothing from her. No text message. No phone call. No birthday wish comment on my Facebook wall. Not even a belated wish afterward. As if she wanted to show me in a subtle way that i am no longer an important person to her. As if she wanted to show me that i am, at the very least of her concern.
i know, i should've took that as a hint for it is pointless to purse her anymore. A hint for me to just give up any kind of hope to keep trying.
Well... as usual my STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID brain & mind preferred jumping to conclusion. i guessed that she might have someone new in her life, for her to care of, rather than me. A not worth living guy. Sorry guys if i am sounding a little.. okay.. sounding too depressed.
i am kind of obsessed with hoping that she might have a change of heart and would love me back as much as i love her. Unfortunately deep down, in my heart i know that this will never be.
So forget love? Unfortunately i can't, my love for her is still as strong as ever.
A hopeless and pointless love.
Pic via The High Definite.