Can't Let Go Of Her..

Let me see, why am i so into her? What's so special about her that change the way how i felt about her.. i think i should look at this throughly. In order for me to get over her quickly, i'll list out about what i like about her and perhaps look for that similarities in other girls that i might meet later.

Though i don't think this is a good move, because i'm afraid by doing this, i might fall into her ever deeper. Which is what i'm trying to avoid. As when that happened, i would just be trapped in a destructive circle of unrequitted love.

1. i love the way she smiles, the way her eyes would become small, cute and shiny.
2. i love the way she giggles when she makes her jokes.
3. i love the way she makes that cute face when she's making fun of me/teasing me/play jokes on me.
4. i love the way she wrinkles her eye brows and the puzzled look on her face when she didn't get my jokes.
5. i love the way she tied her hair, i always wanted to tell her that whenever she let her hair free but somehow i couldn't.
6. i love the way she tell me stuffs, the look on her face would always fascinate me.
7. i love the way she carries herself, although she's young and naive, she can also be a lot wiser beyond her age, at times i think she's a lot more mature in some ways more than i am.
8. But the most of all, i love the way she is, i wouldn't want her to be in any other way.

It is most unfortunate that i can't have her all to myself, as hard as i can wish her to be mine, but then again she has her own choices and plan to make and again unfortunately her choices and plans would not involve me.



Anonymous said…
cute post. maybe instead of listing out what you like about her, you could do this instead: write some things that you might expect and want in a lady, that she does not have. maybe then you could get over her. just an idea =) don't really have to agree or do it =P anyway, this is kinda personal, but is this a girl you have a huge crush on or is it your ex?
ruki kenishiro said…
haha.. cute post? i don't think so.. haha..

so anyway, the thing is, she is at first just a friend of mine, then we became close, i like to think it as a best friend kind of relationship..

unfortunately somehow i woke up one day and sees her differently..
i tried to ignore and surpress it at first but then it grew stronger by the day..

i told her how i felt, but she didn't see me the same way.. muahaha..

what a good way to ruin a great friendship now isn't it?

you should read my other thoughts about her in my previous posts ok..

and thanx for the comment..
Anonymous said…
yeah, i kinda found out already that she was ur good friend... i read ur other posts after i read this one, before u replied. i went like "oooh..."... well, things do change over time... you never know, with much hope and prayers, something might turn up the way u want it to be. so, i wonder, do u still want to get her, or do u want to get over her now?
ruki kenishiro said…
oh man, i seriously freakin want to get her so bad.. but i couldn't just like force her to like me the way that i want her..

she is not the kind u want and can force your way in, although under her cuteness and small frame, she's no some pushover, i can tell u that..

maybe thats's why i like her, she got the confidence and the balls that i should have..haha..

but i can tell u a thing about me though, i easily give up..

so here's my dilemma and where my self confidence fails me.. like all the time..

sometimes i just.. freakin want to forget her altogether, sometimes i want her really really bad, sometimes i want thing to go back to before i open my stupid mouth, yet sometimes i believe that she'll change somehow and accept me and i'll be willing to just.. wait..

So seriously, i have no idea what i should do, what i want, what i dont..

i'm so messed up don't cha think?
Anonymous said…
well, having a huge crush on someone could make anybody get messed up, i'm pretty sure of that. well, i guess you've gotta decide one day, on whatever that you really want to do.. to wait, to move on, or to make some more efforts... if u ask me personally, i'd probably say it's alrite to wait for her, and stay around and make a few efforts to kinda subtly tell her that you still like her, but in the same time, keep your heart open to any possible candidates. we don't want you to miss out on a possible soulmate, but in the same time, no one could actually make you or force you to forget her. so, if you have time, you could actually put some good thoughts into it, and see what you really want to do... waiting doesn't seem like a bad idea, but don't reserve yourself or be in isolation. mingle around because that could probably help :)
ruki kenishiro said…
Thank you for that inspiring comment, you gave me a new look on this..

seriously though, i was thinking of waiting just FOR HER and not anyone else..but now that u put that way.. gosh.. honestly that thought never ever cross my mind..

i was planning to wait for her no matter what..haha.. such a pointless hope now isn't it? we still kind of in a bestfriend relationship, although now, that relationship has gone awkward, much of it really affect me of course. i get really jealous when she's paying attention to handsome guys, but i have to bury that feeling deep inside. **sigh..**

yeah, you're absolutely right, i shouldn't just totally shut off from other potential that comes right? cause that would just be down right stupid..

Honestly speaking i really really hope that both of us would be together, hopefully..

anyway, thank you so much for the advice, seriously before some of the thought you said never ever cross my mind.. i'll keep that in mind.. thanx again..
Anonymous said…
glad to be of some help =) good luck =) and stay strong =)