Sorting My Life Out..

i know that i've whine about this topic a few times before. Although exactly how many time it was, i couldn't recall. Perhaps i should check back at my previous ramblings in the blog.. nah.. too lazy to do it.. haha..

i think i really need to sort out my life properly and pronto. It's not like i'm getting any younger. i should've taken an example of a few of my friends that seems have got their life on a proper track. Yes, i did from time to time take a small step in order to have my life on track yet i couldn't maintain it. Which of course is always frustrating. It seems that i don't have a really strong will to get my own life sorted out. Perhaps i have yet to find a life changing motivation that's needed.

i don't know how to say it exactly, or perhaps i might over exaggerate it, but i kind of have this very bad habit of liking to take some things very lightly. Even when thing are significantly important, i could somehow subconsciously take my foot of the gas and just cruise. Did you guys get my metaphor or not? Please say you did..

For example, like the current job that i am doing right now. i remembered back then when i was still jobless, a friend whom suggested that i should apply for this job kept reminding me to pass to her my resume. What i did back then was, when i looked back at it even amazed me sometimes.

It was on the last day of submitting the resume and application, the office was about to close with an hour or so remaining. i was still undecided whether to submit my application or not. At the very last moment i decided to just submit my application to her, although through out the week she have asked me for it; i gave it to her 30 minutes before their office closed for the day.

Quite extraordinary now isn't it? Okay, maybe extraordinary is not the correct word for it. Perhaps a word such as STUPID would be just. So you see, i'm not that good at decision, even if it concerns my FREAKIN FUTURE. Back then my last minute decision did change my life.


i'm at that fucking crossroad again. Although now, more is at stacked. My image & reputation, my career, my future and most importantly my life.

i would like to end my ramblings here right now about this topic of sorting out my life thingy. Unfortunately like what i've said earlier, i kind of having that feeling of not caring about it right now. i somehow do. Heck, i don't even care if i'm alive tomorrow.

In this somber note, i'll end it here.