Let me see, why am i so into her? What's so special about her that change the way how i felt about her.. i think i should look at this throughly. In order for me to get over her quickly, i'll list out about what i like about her and perhaps look for that similarities in other girls that i might meet later.
Though i don't think this is a good move, because i'm afraid by doing this, i might fall into her ever deeper. Which is what i'm trying to avoid. As when that happened, i would just be trapped in a destructive circle of unrequitted love.
1. i love the way she smiles, the way her eyes would become small, cute and shiny.
2. i love the way she giggles when she makes her jokes.
3. i love the way she makes that cute face when she's making fun of me/teasing me/play jokes on me.
4. i love the way she wrinkles her eye brows and the puzzled look on her face when she didn't get my jokes.
5. i love the way she tied her hair, i always wanted to tell her that whenever she let her hair free but somehow i couldn't.
6. i love the way she tell me stuffs, the look on her face would always fascinate me.
7. i love the way she carries herself, although she's young and naive, she can also be a lot wiser beyond her age, at times i think she's a lot more mature in some ways more than i am.
8. But the most of all, i love the way she is, i wouldn't want her to be in any other way.
It is most unfortunate that i can't have her all to myself, as hard as i can wish her to be mine, but then again she has her own choices and plan to make and again unfortunately her choices and plans would not involve me.
SIGH..
Though i don't think this is a good move, because i'm afraid by doing this, i might fall into her ever deeper. Which is what i'm trying to avoid. As when that happened, i would just be trapped in a destructive circle of unrequitted love.
1. i love the way she smiles, the way her eyes would become small, cute and shiny.
2. i love the way she giggles when she makes her jokes.
3. i love the way she makes that cute face when she's making fun of me/teasing me/play jokes on me.
4. i love the way she wrinkles her eye brows and the puzzled look on her face when she didn't get my jokes.
5. i love the way she tied her hair, i always wanted to tell her that whenever she let her hair free but somehow i couldn't.
6. i love the way she tell me stuffs, the look on her face would always fascinate me.
7. i love the way she carries herself, although she's young and naive, she can also be a lot wiser beyond her age, at times i think she's a lot more mature in some ways more than i am.
8. But the most of all, i love the way she is, i wouldn't want her to be in any other way.
It is most unfortunate that i can't have her all to myself, as hard as i can wish her to be mine, but then again she has her own choices and plan to make and again unfortunately her choices and plans would not involve me.
SIGH..
Comments
so anyway, the thing is, she is at first just a friend of mine, then we became close, i like to think it as a best friend kind of relationship..
unfortunately somehow i woke up one day and sees her differently..
i tried to ignore and surpress it at first but then it grew stronger by the day..
i told her how i felt, but she didn't see me the same way.. muahaha..
what a good way to ruin a great friendship now isn't it?
you should read my other thoughts about her in my previous posts ok..
and thanx for the comment..
she is not the kind u want and can force your way in, although under her cuteness and small frame, she's no some pushover, i can tell u that..
maybe thats's why i like her, she got the confidence and the balls that i should have..haha..
but i can tell u a thing about me though, i easily give up..
so here's my dilemma and where my self confidence fails me.. like all the time..
sometimes i just.. freakin want to forget her altogether, sometimes i want her really really bad, sometimes i want thing to go back to before i open my stupid mouth, yet sometimes i believe that she'll change somehow and accept me and i'll be willing to just.. wait..
So seriously, i have no idea what i should do, what i want, what i dont..
i'm so messed up don't cha think?
seriously though, i was thinking of waiting just FOR HER and not anyone else..but now that u put that way.. gosh.. honestly that thought never ever cross my mind..
i was planning to wait for her no matter what..haha.. such a pointless hope now isn't it? we still kind of in a bestfriend relationship, although now, that relationship has gone awkward, much of it really affect me of course. i get really jealous when she's paying attention to handsome guys, but i have to bury that feeling deep inside. **sigh..**
yeah, you're absolutely right, i shouldn't just totally shut off from other potential that comes right? cause that would just be down right stupid..
Honestly speaking i really really hope that both of us would be together, hopefully..
anyway, thank you so much for the advice, seriously before some of the thought you said never ever cross my mind.. i'll keep that in mind.. thanx again..