My Flaws : The Things That Can Be A Turn Off For A Potential GF

i think i kind of figure out why girls don't wanna be my girlfriend or they just view me as a friend. i only dared to ask a girl that i liked her once in my life, and that didn't turn out well and as i hoped it'll be. Too bad, as i think she's just the kind of girl that i would like to spend the rest of my life with. The kind that is smart, confident, independent and simply joyful to hangout with. Damn.. i don't think i'll ever meet/find anybody that is as close to her. God damn it.. why do i have to blog about this, my heart is hurting..

Unfortunately, i've never ever been remotely close to a so-called a serious relationship, or just a simple relationship for that matter. So i have no idea what to expect what my actual flaw/weakness would be. Only an 'ex' can give her thoughts about this, though fortunately i never had an 'ex'.

However, the things about me that i think can be a turn off for a potential GF would be as listed below:
1. i can be really boring: as i'm the kind that never really want to do the unexpected or challenging or out of the ordinary. Most of the time, i prefer the usual or routine stuff to do.
2. i can be somewhat pushy/obsessive sometimes: This usually occurs when i felt lonely and i seek extra attentions. The less response i get, the more i would seek for it. This is perhaps what deterred the previous girl that i tried to court. She probably got fed up of me trying to ask more of her attention.
3. i have low self-confidence: This is perhaps one of my big flaws. i prefer doing something that is can be said the easy and safe way, rarely i challenge myself for the better. i have this mental block wall that have always been hindering me from striving for greater success.
4. i'm not good looking: i know this may sounds stupid, but that is how i view myself when i looked into the mirror. Due to low self esteem, i always felt that i'm fugly.
5. i can be an easy quiter: This comes as a no brainer, as if a person have low in self confidence, quiting something is just a moments away. That have been troubling my pursuit of greatness, if the challenge is too much to handle, i can easily just say "i've had it, i quit".
6. i sometimes take serious matter too lightly: i can be too casual about serious stuff, like not paying attention towards my study, about work, about life in general.. what more to say, when i'm no longer have interest in life, i'm no longer interest into doing something seriously and properly.
7. i don't make much money: Well what more can i say, i can easily be broke after a week of payday.
8. i'm no longer interested in life: Perhaps i should just kill myself and get it over with, ey?

Oh well, if you're a single woman seeking for me to have a relationship with, you'll have to get ready for the above mentioned FLAWS.

All i can say is, you have been warned.. If you're seeking stability, happy and content life, you won't get it with me.

Damn..such a sad post..


Kim said…
you shouldn't be so hard on urself. and just work on your confidence. be more outgoing. be more initiative. be more positive. say hello to everyone. learn to be happier.

and work on your flaws. no one likes a clingy person. but dun be so independent that you no longer appreciate the person you're with.

read more books. learn new things. absorb new knowledge and you won't be so "boring".

only ever commit suicide if you think u can deal with the consequences! ur life after life will be a million times worse than wut ur life maybe like now.

but the worst thing about ppl who commit suicide is that they always think about themselves and never about the people they leave behind.

remember ur family.

with ur change in attitude towards life and urself, you will be attracting girls in no time.

not only that, you could start doing better in ur workplace and u will enjoy ur job more and make it more satisfying.

keep that chin up.
Kim said…
hey, i think i saw u walking around today. wearing a light pink shirt?
ruki kenishiro said…
hey kim, everything that u've said is right.. yup, giving up is just the easy and cowardly way out..

it is unfortunate that whenever i felt down and everything is going against me, my fragile thoughts of hopelessness will surely creeps in..

it seems that i can't fight it, somehow as i kind of feeds on it's negativeness to go on.. though that thoughts slowly eating me alive..

hehe.. u saw me ya? y didnt u say hi leh? though that colour is not pink la, it's light maroon..
Kim said…
cos i was in my car and you were walking by eating something. hahahaha. and it's pink. trust me.

find something satisfying to do. something new. learn to play the piano, take up a new hobby. knitting or cross stitching. sounds weird, eh?

but it will help you take ur mind off the negative things. go to the gym and release some endorphins. :)

i've been through wut you're going through and on some days i still manage to find myself in that kinda place. but if you want to be happy, learn to make urself happy.
ruki kenishiro said…
hey kim, it's seems that ur eyes have deceived u la.. it's not pink la, it's light maroon, seriously.. hahahaha..

sure kim, i'll keep ur advice in mind..thanx for being such a good listener/reader..