Holiday : Unfinish Assignment : Lost Interest In Life : Death

This is perhaps the most idiotic thing that i could've done or in another context, not doing. The Sarawak state of Malaysia is having a two day public holiday last Thursday and yesterday. Which is the Prophet Muhammad birthday, Maulidur Rasul on Thursday and Good Friday yesterday.

The thing that i'm supposed to do during the two day holiday is finishing up my three OUM assignments, and.. yes, you guess it, i didn't do any. i spent my Thursday mostly sleeping, as i woke up on that day at 12:30pm and went back napping on the afternoon at 3pm until 7pm. i went to bed that night early (for my biological clock) at 11pm and that continues until the Friday late morning at 11:45am.

i can't make up any good excuse for my actions.. or is it "inaction". i just felt so lazy for that two days. Today, Saturday, the day that i was supposed to hand in at least one of the assignments, i'm still sitting here, staring aimlessly at my laptop.

If my dad were to know about this he would be furious, as he was about to finish his studies, and i'm still fooling around. If i were to, again, list out my pointless excuses, then it'll be just a repetition.

This was probably because of my lost of interest in life itself. i can relate this to drug junkies, just aimlessly living for the sake of addiction. Where in my case, it is probably worst, as i have no longer goals, ambitions or hopes to look up to. The fact that i'm a fully capable citizen with lots of potential to offer my country such excuse is unjustifiable.

But why is it that made me lost interest in life in the first place? If i were to say that the reason is unrequited love, you'd probably think that it is the most stupid answer ever. Yup, i myself thought so. Unfortunately, with this matter of the heart nothing is certain and predictable. i felt that with this current one, that feeling will stay for a long time. The only cure, now, that in my current state of mind, that i can think of is... just death.

Perhaps death is just the answer for ending the lingering feeling of unrequited love that i'm having...