Fuckingly Tired, Sad, Bored and Lonely Week

i'm just so bored and lonely, haven't been blogging because nothing interesting happened. Life is fuckingly bored and pointless as usual so nothing much there. i've been waking up, working my ass off, eat and little if not no exercise and then back to sleep again. My life is in a such a boring time right now, i miss her a lot but i highly doubt that she feels the same.

My week days is just working, eating and sleeping routine. i'm such an ordinary guy. Nothing special there. Although i have to be grateful that i am working, meaning at least i have a job, but i don't know, it seems that i might have been having some kind of low self esteem state/phase. i'm not feeling grateful for what i've had right now.

My job is not exactly physically demanding, but more towards brain/head/mind demanding. Nevertheless when i'm finished working and got back home, i'm usually dead tired. i realised that when your head is tired, your body would feel tired as well, but there's a major difference between a tired head and a tired body. When your body is tired, you can easily counter it off by sleeping or relaxing for some time/days, but when your head is tired, that will also affect your emotional and mental side and of course your body does too.

In my case my confidence and motivation is affected. i felt like crap, tired, sad and hopeless. i have not been in contact with her for almost a month now, and counting... and i fuckingly miss her a lot. She's been in my thoughts most of the time, imagining that she might be feeling the same way but at the same time i'm also imagining that she's not and she's having a time of her life with the other guy that she's been dating... now i'm really out of topic.. if there's any topic at all that is..

Who am i talking about? Some girl that i used to hang out with, playing tennis, talk about anything and everything and such... now that time have past, and i'm just... alone... just really miss the days that being her best friend, until i fuckingly stupidly says i'm seeing her differently... Damn fucking mouth... should've kept that to myself...

So anyway... My week have been just that, working, eating, sleeping and missing her so badly...
Would i ever find another great/best friend such as her? i fucking highly doubt it..



Kim said…
stay positive and good things will come. :)
ruki kenishiro said…
haha.. i know..
but im sick of being positive
i've been staying positive all the time
i guess i'd try being negative once a while..
haha.. i've no idea what i'm saying
i'm almost at the point of being fed up and losing it..
i dont know.. perhaps u're right anyway..