Who am i really? Part 001..

Who am i really? well, that is what i intended to find out myself.. what? what the hell does that mean, you might asked. That sounded like a stupid question, but it is the truth, the truth that i myself have no idea what i wanted in life. So maybe, my purpose in life is to find out myself what i wanted. Sounds oxymoronic? hell yeah, i'm actually quite lost right now, i wonder where this topic might end up.

Hmm.. let's just take things slowly, perhaps i have a hobby, or maybe hobbies. Well in fact i do, one thing that i like is writing poetry. Actually one of my few attempts at creating a website is creating my own on www.fictionpress.com. So if you guys clicked on this link www.fictionpress.com/~kenishiro that is where i creates original short stories and poems.

My poems are mostly driven on pure emotion. That meant most of my poems reflected on my moods, and how it affected by certain events that unfold in my life. I am currently working on a poetry book, which actually i've been working on since 3/4 years ago. I planned to get it publish soon, but the awful truth is, i've planned to send it to publisher last year..but i didn't. That would meant this is the second time i've delayed it.
i have many favourite poems but the poem that i like the most is entitled: She


She is the sparks,
That sets the fire,
The object of my desire,
She is the heat,
That comes with the fire,
That my heart yearns so dear,
She is the fire,
Wrapping me up in her,
Keeping me close to her,
She is also the heartbreak,
Causing me this heartache,
Pain, I can no longer take,


She is the one I misses,
Why? I can't answer this,
Thinking of her is a tormentful bliss...
There is a story behind this poem, during this period of time. i have been questioning myself for the feelings that i have for a friend, i began to like her more than a friend. At that time, my poems are mainly revovled around my affection towards her. i was confused whether to proceed to next step or to remain where i am and keep my feelings to myself, and that period of time i called my poems Entries of Confusion. i actually started playing around with phrases, and stumbled with she is the sparks. i thought to myself at that time, how should i expand it..
When suddenly all of the words, came together, as if by magic. As i continued on writing, i felt sadness and sorrow was the main force of emotion. i imagined me battling against myself, with one wanted to remain recluse and the other wanted to take a chance. Yup and in the end, the end line speaks volume.